Have you ever made yourself small for someone?
To satisfy their appearances & their exploding ego.
It broke me.
My consciousness fractured, creating another alter in my system.
It’s so much easier to choose being small over choosing to stand up for myself—or, scarier still, to leave..!, believing I'll find better because I deserve it.
So I cowered.
I chopped off my legs to make me shorter.
I amputated my arms to make me weaker.
I cut off my hair to make me less physically appealing.
I made myself small.
Desires to express myself... Longings for freedom & spontaneity & independence... Devilish dares to dance in the moonlight while the world sleeps...
I suppressed it all, for the sake of my smallness.
Original, unedited photography by Megan Medland.
Recently, I’ve Risen.
Reclaimed my Personal Power.
Regained my spirit-driven confidence!
I am learning what it feels like to genuinely & fully be ME, & how to know who that is exactly.☺️
Journeying on this road to remission, this path towards what most would call recovery, has taught me so, so much about who I am.
& not just as a human.
but as a soul.
as a whole.
I am learning to know my very Being, be aware of my innermost working, intimately know the depths of my brilliantly beautiful, vastly intricate, never-ending & ever-expanding soul.
Growing in soulful self-awareness & strongly deepening the roots of my identity & self-worth has truly TRANSFORMED my life.
My self-worth is no longer solely based on society's perception of me & on personal achievements. Rather, I find my immeasurable value within.
My soul—my spirit, the very essence of my being—is composed of light. I am made of star dust. I am one of the great wonders of the universe.
Each one of us is.
Once we recognize this as truth, miraculous magic begins to happen.
Not only do I not settle anymore, but I don't have to think twice about it like I used to. I don't have to wallow in worry or regret, fearing I've made some grave mistake, some error in judgment, some poor decision that will come back to haunt me.
My voice no longer shakes when I speak, hands no longer tremble. I can stand up for myself without feeling apologetic or in the wrong or somehow inferior to everyone around me. I possess the power to speak my truth with bold bravery, shameless in my vulnerability, strong in my stance, peaceful in my heart.
I am a new woman, a new Creation, & I feel so blessed to be here.💕
Self-expression, patience, grace, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, understanding, faith, hope, knowledge, gratitude, kindness, self-love... it’s all growing!, just like me.
Photograph by Lauren Uhlendorf with Lauren Emily Photography & Design.