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Rethinking Friendship.


rethinking how I define friendship✨

raising the bar, increasing my standards,

lowering my tolerance for being mistreated, taken for granted,

& abused just because my heart is too big for this cruel world

I have forewarned you, world, that a friend purge is coming soon. & not just on Facebook either but from my intimate life.

In preparation for this fairly routine "friend purge," I sit here pondering various aspects of friendships.

Musing, deep & high & far & wide within my precariously painted soul, I wonder why certain things upset me the way they do. Seemingly small words or actions or experiences trigger a response from deep within me, stirring up an enraged ferocity I am not normally familiar with. The beast brings a bothersome feeling, irksome & uncomfortable & even frightening. I would often ridicule & rebuke myself, ordering my brain to stop being so pathetically judgmental & condemning & superficial, demanding I simply "get over it," get over all the many, many 'its' that irked me.

Now, however, I realize I was, more often than not, entirely in the right! Those triggers, to put it simply, all proved to be things with no soul or sustenance. Though deemed inconsequential by the rest of the world, my soul responds with force.

Now knowing this, I must honour & respect myself enough by becoming immensely more selective with every single thing I allow into my life: music, movies & TV shows, commercials & advertisements, outings & experiences, jobs & schools, &, above all, relationships people, from friendships & romantic interests to doctors & family.

EVERYthing that enters my brain affects me far more dramatically than the average person, & I must honour & respect this aspect of my soul by protecting it, guarding my deeply rooted inner beauty that I have, until now, given away so damn freely.

Cutting people out of my life doesn't mean I hate them;

it simply means I respect myself✨

(10/3/15)

Marking this monumental move forward, I would like to clarify, for myself as well as past & present friends, what, in particular, I intend to steer clear of & keep away from, whenever given the choice:

  • no expressed care for justice

  • no expressed empathy for people who are hurting

  • no regular investment in personal growth, as it's not a priority

  • no expressed desire for learning something new, anything of significance

  • expressing complaints every chance given

  • no desire to cultivate a habit of looking for silver linings, hidden blessings in the chaos

  • prioritizing the self first, above all, every one & every thing, every single time; unwilling to make compromises or sacrifices

Rather, I seek relationships with people who are not afraid to speak up, for themselves & others; not afraid to show empathy & compassion for those in need or in pain; not afraid to get angry over injustice & take a stand for what's right. I desire friendships that challenge me, grow me, nurture me. I seek people who prioritize bettering themselves, who aren't afraid to say "I don't know," who boldly step out in love & in light on a regular basis. If you are one of these people, be sure to introduce yourself! I am always open to making new connections:).

As difficult as it is to shut the door on someone, it's far less painful than missing an opportunity to open an even better door---one more welcoming, decorated with brighter colours, emitting a beautiful melody, providing opportunities I've never before experienced.

Few paths intertwine with mine anymore. I’ve accepted this painful truth.

Now it’s your turn to come to terms with reality.

I choose to walk away from what no longer serves me in order to make room for better things, those that which will aid me in conquering my current obstacles & help me move forward to a better chapter of life.✨


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