I joined an improv group.
The first week I was going to attend the 2 hour meetup at a local park, it was cancelled due to rain.
They decided to try it through an online group video call.
It wasn't long before my age regression became activated: so much visual stimulation, right brain play, and socialization without physical grounding or solidified left brain engagement allowed for the right brain to divert and experience age regressive dissociation.
I could feel it creeping in, my sense of self becoming smaller and smaller, my independent individualizations dissolving, swelling and swirling within the engagement of verbal responses to tiny people somehow appearing within my phone screen.
I harnessed my tools; I used my tricks.
I removed the visual stimulation and focused on physical grounding by looking away from the screen.
I shifted the audio so it focused in my left ear, encouraging left brain stimulation. (Automated processing of auditory stimulus is processed through opposite hemispheres yet specified processing is through the same hemisphere—or so I've heard!)
I redirected my focus away from the people talking and towards the words being spoken, which also encourages left brain stimulation with reduced right brain activation.
I closed my left eye and allowed my right eye to remain open, stimulating my left brain and allowing my right brain to have a little break.
I took several deep breaths to bring myself fully into the present moment and reduce dissociative drifting.
I could feel my brain balance returning, my sense of self stabilizing, and my inner child feeling fully supported by my adult self.
All of myselves had an awesome time, remaining fully present for the entire 2 hour call!
There were so many new games, and it felt so confusing to parts of me to be so spontaneous and creative in a group setting. Everyone was so FREE to EXPRESS! It was so uplifting to experience firsthand and even contribute to!
A part of me kept trying to pre-plan what would be said, but of course that's not how improv flows! Releasing perfectionistic tendencies, letting go of judgment, and dissolving all need for control felt very healing as I leaned into the experience.
When I remained quiet, feeling dissociatively confused and emotionally unsure of myself, others were kind enough to encourage engagement: "Kristin has something to say!" I am so grateful for their loving extension of energy to the group's only newcomer.
The age regression flared several times, my physical posture and voice changing entirely.
Aside from the social engagement and visual stimulation activating age regression, emotions contributed also: feeling worried, insecure, shy, or afraid also brought on the dominantly right-brained experience.
That's OK! It's all allowed! Everyone was patient with me, and I continually shifted the focus and perspective to regain footing in pure presence with myselves.
It was a blessed, healing time that I am forever grateful for, and I deeply look forward to experiencing the 2 hour improv meetup in-person, whenever life allows for such a wondrous opportunity.
In the meantime, I allow for more carefree experiences of creative expression and fictional play, continuing to practice release of perfectionism, judgment, seriousness, and control.
Inner child liberation, here I come!
Kristin Windsor healed herself from 22 years of intensive traumatic-stress in just TWO YEARS through self-LOVE and a comprehensive understanding of NEUROSCIENCE.
Through that, she gained expansive healing journey insights that have the power to CHANGE LIVES, and she deeply desires to share that healing energywith the world.