top of page

The Origin of My Alters.


Learning to identify alternate states of consciousness is an important part of the healing journey when learning to live with DID, dissociative identity disorder.

I've been working hard to identify how long my alters have each existed for individually.

Kingsley began existing in ninth grade, while other alters have been around much longer.

Monika was created by our subconscious to help with insomnia. Only in high school did we ever go by the name of "Monika," by her character was clearly present in the years prior.

Krystal was created as an introject of my mom to help care for my brothers. By age eight(?), I was helping care for three younger children & doing household chores without assistance.

Bambi is basically a collection of the best parts of my childhood, so its hard to tell when she began existing for certain, but her characteristics have definitely been a part of me since I was a young child.

Misty has been a developing character since late middle school. She made her first appearance fall of 2009 before getting us expelled from our high school, & then immediately after graduating high school to cope with the sexual assault & deep betrayal of beloved friends.

Keagan, from the little I know thus far, is basicaly who I was in eighth grade.

"Hulkout" was created more recently specifically due to physical assaults & the need to take our power back in a physical manner.

Ocean Eyes, our core alter (meaning original alter), is extremely young, & uncovering why she exists will most likely lead to answers regarding why I have DID in the first place. This is a quest for later on in my life.

Kristina Katerina is a girl I wrote about in elementary school (or middle school?). Now I recognize her as a voice in my head experiencing deep emotional pain & fear.

"The romantic" is who I was when I was in a long-distance relationship during my seniour year of high school, & then a few years later when I was engaged to a different man. She can easily become obsessive & plan her whole life around one insignificant person. Her feelings are strong: I can be in a completely detached state, & then feel anxious with excited butterflies in my stomach in just a few seconds when she becomes present.

My first fragment is due to sexual assaults (2011 & 2015). Her existence (or level to which she appears present or symptomatic) is directly related to the severity of my PTSD.

"The accountant" & "the dark entity" are both introjects of our dad that developed in early high school years, as far as we can tell.

The suicidal part also became present during that time, when I was fourteen, entering fifteen years-old.


bottom of page