I am gaining new insight into my life during 2016: what alternate states of consciousness I was & why.
My apartment building burned down & I lost everything a few weeks after my roommate ran out owing me $1,200 & leaving me to cover that month's rent. (End of January 2016.)
The fire triggered Misty to come out & party to cope, living a dangerous life of alcohol, drugs, & promiscuity.
After the fun distractions had died down & we were home alone in our empty apartment, emotional parts would come out & be extremely suicidal. Endless sobbing & more than one start at an overdose attempt. (February 2016.)
Once we met Tyler, the romantic began surfacing & grew a deep attachment, craving the simplicity that a "housewife" life had to offer. (March 2016.)
However, Misty had fallen for an incredible man named Jace. He chose someone else in the end, & the romantic grew more dominant in her presence within our dissociative identity. (March/ April 2016.)
A month into the relationship with Tyler, however, Misty began appearing again & she occasionally worked at the local club as an exotic dancer. (The romantic is much more conservative than Misty.) (This was in April/ May of 2016.)
This caused problems within the relationship. Nevertheless, it stuck together because the romantic made for a truly incredible girlfriend for Tyler. (Summer 2016.)
Over time, the relationship dissolved. (September 2016.)
At first, I was completely indifferent.
Within a few hours, the romantic was severely triggered. She dominantly surfaced (fronted) & the sorrow was deeper than I can honestly imagine.
To cope, Misty then resurfaced. We moved an hour north & worked at a larger strip club near there. (October 2016.)
Fascinating. More to come, hopefully.
I want to heal. I want to learn. I want to grow.