New Beginnings.


I wrote a "Goals for 2016" post at the beginning of the year.

Little did I know that everything I owned would be destroyed & taken from me just three short weeks later. I've endured a lot: depression, delusions, hallucinations, psychosis, anxiety, rape, abandonment, betrayal, homelessness, fires, injured body, impaired mind, etc. I've looked death in the eye a dozen times & never once was there fear. I've survived a lot.

But I'm tired of just surviving. I miss thriving. I miss succeeding in life & being thankful every day that I am alive. So here are some goals to help me get back to a better place in life.

Long-Term Goals

Pole dancing. Continue dancing every chance I get. Continually learn new tricks & moves. Buy a pole when I have space to install it indoors: ~150$.

College education. Establish residency (takes 1 year). Have 2,000$ saved for my first semester back at Pikes Peak Community College (PPCC). Plan what classes I need from community college that will count towards my BA & will transfer to the University of Colorado in Colorado Springs (UCCS).

Laptop. Buy a Macbook Pro: ~1,000$.

Camera. Buy a Nikon or Canon: ~500$. Plan days & places to go shoot.

Music. Continue playing guitar. Learn new songs. Especially practice bar chords & finger picking. Purchase a guitar stand: ~20$.

Budget. & stay true to my budget! Stick with it, no matter if I feel like it or not!

Travel. Plan trips within Colorado & beyond its beautiful borders, including a trip back home to California to gather some of my belongings from home & to see family.

Plan goals. Make goals for my writing, finances, career/ employment, relationships, etc., for the next twelve months. Map out what I want my life to look like & how I can get there.

No self-harm. Learn to use other coping skills, regardless of the temptation to self-harm.

ASL. Buy workbook (with DVD) (that I used in college but lost in the fire). Practice American sign language & continue to learn new signs. Don't give up the knowledge I've already attained! Continue watching Switched At Birth to practice using my knowledge of ASL.

Short-Term Goals

#100daysofhappiness. Finish my 100 Days of Happiness photo album (on my private Facebook profile).

Daily exercise. Begin each day with a walk around the neighbourhood. Stretch daily. Continue pole dancing. Exercise any chance I get (like staying in a hotel: do laps in the swimming pool).

Daily journaling. Write something every day, even if it's just one sentence or bullet points. Write, write, WRITE!

Decorate my room. Use quotes & photographs & lots of colour. Include my goals somewhere (on a poster).

Invest in people. Actively invest in the people around me that I love & that are beneficial to my mental & physical health.

Experience joy daily. Whether it's pretending to be a fairy princess, taking photographs of nature or people, making music with my guitar & my voice, playing with my cat PookieBear, or being a hippie & having beautiful spiritual ceremonies, make sure there is some joy in every day I breathe.

Track marijuana usage. Keep track of what weed I buy when & how much it costs me & how long it lasts. Mainly for budgeting purposes but also for my own knowledge of substance consumption.

Mental health: medical aspect. Continue with therapy & EMDR; journal after each EMDR session. Continue with medications & seeing my psychiatrist. Find some sort of resolution for myself so that my mental illnesses no longer hold me back from living the life I want.

Mental health: personal aspect. Continue using my coping skills on a daily basis. Continue with daily task list. Continue tracking my mood & daily struggles & what coping skills I use; start a binder with one from each day.

Daily breathing exercises. Because Adderall causes me to have a tight, sore chest & shortness of breath, breathing exercises are important. Make sure I'm taking deep breaths every single day.