Losing Myself.


Once upon a time, there was a Kristin, & she had the most beautiful, vivid imagination you could find around. She was hard-working, an over-achiever, always chasing some new goal or dream & actually making things happen. She was a people-person, meeting someone new every day she left the house, even if it was just to run errands. She encouraged, loved, & uplifted people like no one else could. Her creativity pushed the boundaries of the average mind, her projects exploding with colour & life & insight. Her mind worked overtime to better understand people & grow in her compassion & awareness, as well as finding solutions to all sorts of life dilemmas. She was an incredible creature, marvelous to admire & thrilling to journey through life with.

Once upon a time, there was a Kristin.

But something happened.

Something changed.

Someone took away the piece of Kristin that made her KRISTIN. Something reached inside her delicate, precious soul & removed the drive, the personality, the beautiful edges that created her identity.

Suddenly, there was no life in her eyes; only pain & sadness. The way she spoke, you wondered if she'd ever dreamed a dream in her entire life. Her motions expressed depression & relentless hopelessness. Her outlook on life was bland & worrisome, persisting towards pessimism & speaking only of the negatives life had to offer.

Something happened. Something changed.

The eyes that once looked upon life with excitement & hope & a dare-devil, adventurous spirit now viewed existing as a chore, something that held no joy, something to be dreaded. The ears that once listened to nature chirp & people sing now abhorred the sound of thriving life, the sound of happiness causing her to cringe because it was something she hadn't been able to experience in so long. Jealousy burned through her as she witnessed the joy & success of others who didn't fight or work as hard as she had. All she could wonder is, How do they succeed while she gets left behind, barely surviving? Why is she not good enough to deserve happiness too?

The hands that once touched life & transformed seeds into flowers now crushed the ants that walked by. They work so hard; why do they deserve to die? It didn't matter anymore. Nothing seemed to matter.

She only desired peace. & That didn't seem possible in this life. So she desired death.

How can she find herself again? What will re-ignite the spark of life within her withering spirit? How can she find her way back to being Kristin again?