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Slam Poetry: Dark Shadows

Dark Shadows

Can you see the insides of my darkened mind,

so left behind

stuck in an evolution of insanity

where compassion in humanity

is lacking where it’s most needed,

resigned where it should’ve been seated.

We cover our sorrows with medication & faked smiles.

Clock ticking for awhile,

sucks you in, spits you back out;

Will you ever see what true darkness is all about?

This dark shadow never leaves me alone.

I wish I lived in your pretty little snow globe, all wrapped up in white & feathered in sunshine.

But that life’s not mine.

No, mine is built of blackened walls, blood dripping from my body,

sorrow aching in my bones, guilt & shame haunting the sharp edges of my thoughts…

Forget me nots.

I think of distant lands

to pretend that this man’s hands

aren’t creeping up without my consent

though he acts as if he’s heaven sent

with this purpose of destruction that he views as pure pleasure

I glance away, trying hard not to continue to measure

the number of times he thrusts his will against mine

Thoughts race, anger steeping so deep in my mind

Red numbers flashing a sick reminder of time

Fade into the background as I sink into the night

My insides swell as I lay there in horror & fright

This beast of a party host

forever my ghost

haunting the shadows of my thoughts

anxiety twisting my stomach in knots

I can’t see beyond this dark life, never-ending dark night

This distorted reality impairs my sight.

This dark shadows never leaves me alone.

Even on my warmest days

basking in the sunshine’s rays

malice far out of sight & mind

gratefully leaving yesterday behind

I suddenly feel the anxiety swell

as my mind begins to churn & dwell

on the possible darkness still lurking within

I feel as though I deserve it, I sinned