Lullaby of the Steak Knife
This is the most beautiful & accurate description of self-harming I've ever heard.
Please take the time to listen to this incredible slam poetry.
A lullaby sung by the steak knife:
Hush, little baby, come find me. Sneak, tip toe, quiet to the kitchen where I’m catching all that moonlight in my teeth. My strong handle humming our song giving way to gleaming steel. This is just like last night, & the night before. You know your way back to me by now.
Come to rest now. Baby girl, hush. There’s no need for all of that crying. Let me smile all the hurt out of you with my shining teeth. Let me sooth you to sleep with the soft boat rocking of this blade.
Count to ten. Count me ten times climbing steady up your arms like ivy.
One, this isn't going to hurt for long.
Two, this is letting go.
Three, this is redemption.
Four, this is repenting.
Five, when the pushing on your chest from heavy hands is going to kill you, this is resuscitation. Breathe; easy; hush, little baby.
Six, this is me bringing out the sun in you.
Seven, I can save you from all of this hurting, elevate you cloudless, make you immortal; this is you taking fate into your own hands. You control this. This is not your fault. This is not my fault. We are both blameless angels connecting through our bloodlines like ivies back to each other.
Eight, keep breathing through this; don't sever this tie.
Nine, I'm the only one who's seen what the inside of you looks like, who's tasted your blood in my small teeth, who understands your suffering.
Ten, baby girl let me bombshell. I can help break you wide open like a fruit fallen red seed nursing honey from the ground. Ten, I can do the splitting like the ax man with the strong hands. Ten, I look like your daddy; look, don’t you think I look like your daddy? Ten, don’t you think I look like your momma moved away from you to California?, look like your sister moved away from you to Louisiana? Ten, hush little baby, hush little baby, hush little baby. Hush, hush, hush.
I'm the only one who's always here for you. Listening, always ready from your soft palms. I am a great listener. I’ll never tell you that you’re stupid, or this is in your head; I’ll never tell you that you’re better than this. I am your unbending steal trap backbone, rocking you as close to that edge as you want, but I won’t tip you over, see? You’re in charge here. I only want what’s best for us. One long saw to the bone, gentle through flesh fruit; hush. We’re beautiful like lullaby. I’m the only song you need to know.